As couples embark on starting a new chapter of their lives, they will inevitably receive TONS of welcomed (and often un-solicited) advice about how to have a long and happy marriage. People give you humorous little tips, advice on communication, and share their personal stories… but what they don’t tell you is the truth about marriage.
Nobody can truly know what their life will be like a decade or more from now. There are so many curve balls in the facets of our lives, that shape it’s unpredictable outcome. Chapter One of my relationship started before smart phones were considered just as important as a toothbrush, when the the World Trade Center still helped shape the NYC skyline, before finishing college, or experiencing the deep emotions of losing loved ones, before coping with major medical events, or having a child. The world has changed since Chapter One…. and it’s safe to say that I have changed since Chapter One.
Frankly, over the last 13 years my husband and I have grown and changed in ways we never would have expected for ourselves, or each other. The truth about marriage is that marriage it is irrefutably hard…. and sometimes being happy in it is a choice, not a feeling. Not every day is filled with joy or the overwhelming excitement to come home; and while sometimes our lives and marital disputes feel like an artful game of Chess… there is nobody else I would rather write the rules of our game with.
Because true love isn’t just someone who can take you through the good times and the bad, for richer or poorer… True love is someone who can look past leaving socks in the middle of the floor, or a pointless 5PM ritual of turning on a bedroom lamp in anticipation for the dark walk to bed at 11PM (as if there are no light switches). True love is being able to comfortably sit in silence, or making the conscious decision to compromise. Because true love is more than just helping you get through the big, the bad, and the ugly…. true love is about getting through the repetitive, mundane and everyday, knowing there will always be more good times than bad, and more laughter than tears. Because marrying your true love is like marrying your very sexy best friend, who sometimes you can’t stand… but will always love.
